Dear Mother

I decided to write this blog post because I found a letter I wrote to my mom years ago after we'd had an argument. I read it through and it made me think about our relationship generally. She raised me as a single mother and didn't complain once. This post is for all the moms or dads out there who are working and studying and looking after their children through difficult times.

Dear Momma,

First thing, I just want to say thank you for making me. I LITERALLY wouldn't be here without you, so cheers for that. I know we joke all the time about your grey hair or my frizzy hair but I love that we have that type of relationship. We make each other laugh and you don't treat me like an idiot (only when I'm being idiotic anyway). You've always been there for me and I will always appreciate everything that you've done for me. I was so proud, and still am, the day you graduated from university top of the class. The fact that you had a job, me, and still managed to get a First Class Degree with Honours shows how frickin' awesome you are. I can remember the day we got the phone call that you had the job and I remember us standing in the kitchen in our pyjamas crying because it was your first application and we didn't expect the news so quickly. I know that you did that for me and for us, so that we could have a good, stable life. It was hard before you became a teacher, we didn't have a lot of money but you always managed to plan days out and holidays that I look back on now and smile.

I think the reason that I try my hardest in all things is because you instilled a strong work ethic and I only want to make you proud, like I am of you. I love you so much and I know we do get into a few fights but I never mean anything I say at all. We're very similar you and me, even if we look completely the opposite. I wish that I was as kind and caring as you because you, my mother, are my inspiration. I know graduating was one of the most difficult things that you have ever had to do; when you bought the house, I know it was important for you but I never really realised until writing this. It makes me laugh when you decide to do DIY and even though you always get it a little wrong at the start, you research and practice until it's perfect. Even as I write this, you're in the kitchen sanding and plastering the walls and ceilings. I know that you always moan at me for not helping but I think that if I did, then it would take twice as long. Just like when I "helped" to build my furniture. It took me 30 minutes to screw one nail whereas you had almost completed the entire drawer. I supplied you with countless cups of teas and made dinner while you did all the work (story of my life right?)

It's been very difficult getting where you are now and I understand everything. I now understand why I went to nursery, after-school clubs and play schemes in the holidays (even though I hated them at the time). I understand why I spent a lot of my time with family members like Nan, Kim or Aunty Claire. In these last few weeks, I've come to appreciate you so much more than I did before. I don't know what triggered it, maybe because I know that in 2 years time I'll be leaving home to go to university. Even though I am nervous about starting year 12, I know that if I just be myself, I'll be fine. That's one of the most important things you've taught me. You've never been afraid to stand up to people (remember on holiday when you shouted at the shopkeeper for shouting at me when she thought I was trying to steal that lolly). You started dancing at Brooke's birthday and managed to get all the little kids on the dance floor - I almost died of embarrassment by the way.

I wanted to write this to you because even though I know you won't read it or even fully understand what I blog is. I just know that I feel a lot better knowing that people know that I love and appreciate you as much as I do because I don't think you really believe me when I say it.

Love from the proudest daughter ever, Tayla xx